December 5, 2007

Late this morning, I opened my front door and found a box sitting on the porch. I thought I had to sign something, apparently no this time. The box said that it contained tins of soy infant formula. That is wrong for so many reasons I didn't know what to think first. The box also proclaimed that the company had been caring for babies since 1896. That's just wonderful, really. I'm 40, live on my own, have no 'significant other' and certainly no soy drinking infants - poor babies! What to do. I considered not opening the box and getting on the phone to them, but that seemed too hard, so I opened it. There, packed lovingly, swaddled in bubble wrap, lay two sample packs of Lophlex. I felt like a bit of an idiot, good thing I didn't ring them up. Just think, if I'd opened the door to the courier, I probably would have sent it straight back. After some chilling in the fridge (of the Lophlex, not myself) I stood in the kitchen, eagerly clutching an orange coloured sachet. I figured that orange was a good place to start, since two of the three boxes were full of the same. I carefully considered the sachet and it's contents. I remembered a friend sating of a previous supplement that it smelt like someone had thrown up after eating oranges. Not very helpful really, as I was trying, with a lot of difficulty to take a supplement after quite some years. It became known as orange vomit, or that orange vomitty stuff in the jug. Today, though, I was both nervous and excited, similar to the nerves one feels when about to meet your best friends' new boyfriend - you so don't want to hate him. He doesn't have to be your best buddy, you just have to not hate each other. After all, you already have something in common - your friend. Clutching my new companion in my hand, I opened the top. For goodness sake, don't be tempted to smell it. Whew, that was close!. Well, it looks like a sports drink, so how do you drink a sports drink? Just squirt it down your throat, right? Let's just say that the results were instant. Running for the kitchen sink every last bit of orange vomit came back. The squirt may have been the problem. I have a dreadful feeling that orange my have run it's course. Once I've collected myself I'll have a go at berry. Berry is the other box being delivered, maybe as soon as tomorrow.