On the Merry-go-round of life

Today is designated the first day of Autumn. It is also the day designated as my blood test day, which I have just done, it took me two goes though, now my fingers are sore. My last blood test came back at 770. Ordinarily I would be thrilled, except for the fact that I feel so bad. I feel like my life is spiralling out of control and that at any minute it's all going to hit the fan, then fall in a stinking pile at my feet. Maybe I'd be feeling like this anyway. Once again I am very aware of the concept of being on a merry-go-round. Some things change but some stay the same. I have found that I am reacting to things in exactly the same way as I did maybe 10 years ago. I feel that the only reason I am coping at all is because I'm not trying to do anything - study, work, have a life etc It's quiet at the museum today and I'm not expecting anyone in. Today, in a fashion typical of this place, there is not one, but two separate events to raise money for the bushfire appeal, both held at the same time of course. At the movie club you needed to book in and it's an ordinary ticket price, the concert held at the club around the corner, is for a gold coin donation only. Maybe they could have worked together. The local council once again seems to be doing nothing. They gave 10, 000 dollars so feel they've done their bit. What about bringing the community together? This area is in the top three bush fire 'hot spots' (*no pun intended!) in the world. People here remember when this town was threatened by fire and Victorian firefighters helped us. People want to help and want to feel like they can do something. I can't help but to feel that the council is letting people down. I'm starting to get boring! Sorry! I wish I could think of some way of picking myself up a bit.